Sorry it's been a while since my last post. I've been with my youth group at a weekend retreat, and while I was there, I grew much closer to God and learned a lot about him, and I will have several future blog posts regarding what I learned.
But right now, there's something that I really want to state my thoughts on. It's something that I've always held fast in my opinions on, and this weekend has helped emphasize why I have the opinions I do.
In short, this post is about love.
I'm almost 15 years old. I've never been in a romantic relationship. I've never kissed a girl.
Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that there aren't times when I want a girlfriend. It doesn't mean that there aren't times where I look around and become slightly jealous when I see couples all around me.
It means that I have to chosen to wait for dating, and to wait for a girl that I believe could be my future wife.
I have several reasons for this.
First off, I've always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy. If I date at 14, for argument's sake, let's say that I do find the girl that I will eventually marry. If I date her at 14, there's nothing I can really do about it at that point. If anything, it's just that many more years I have to wait with the knowledge of not being able to do anything. I'd much rather just be friends with "the one" and get to know her better from that standpoint.
Second off, I want to keep my heart whole and pure for my future wife. If I date at this point, that's just that many more heartbreaks I'll have to endure and that much less of my heart that I'll have set aside for my wife. I don't want that. My wife will be the most important woman in my life, so I want to make sure that my heart is ready for such a person.
Third, not only am I choosing to protect my future wife, I want to protect myself as well. I don't want to have to deal with the drama and trauma of break-up after break-up. I want any relationship I enter to be genuine, and have it end up to where if the girl I'm dating isn't intended to be my future wife, she and I can still be friends without it being awkward.
I want to be prepared for my future wife. God has already placed in my heart a love specifically set aside for my future wife. Honestly, I don't understand how that's possible. I don't know what she looks like. I don't know if she's blonde or brunette, redhead or otherwise. I don't know what she enjoys doing. I don't know her personality. But it's okay, because I will love her anyway. And there is one thing that I know to be true: She will love God with the same intensity and devotion that I do.
I am also praying that whoever she has in her life will treat her with respect; that her father and other male figures in her life will treat her with the same respect and love that I will. On the flipside, I am also careful to treat every girl in my life as though she were someone else's wife.
I love my wife, even though I have never even met her.